Slow motion.

Sam had a follow-up visit with the E/N/T, Dr. Celin. today, August 16, 2008. He said the lymph nodes are definitely decreased in size and Sam appears the way Dr. Celin expected him to look at this stage of the treatment – pretty beaten up.

One of the reasons for the visit is that Sam is noticing some change in his hearing - as though people are talking into a tin can. Dr. Celin said the chemo drug, Cisplatin, is the culprit and ordered a hearing test. The test showed that he has some high-pitch sound loss, but not permanent nerve damage at this point. He wants to see Sam again after the next (and hopefully final) round of chemo. The audiologist who tested Sam said that if nerve damage occurs from Cisplatin, it is not reversible – but its benefits outweigh the risk at this point.

We are back home and I am feeling frustrated. Sam doesn’t want to use the feeding unit because he wants to rest. I’m concerned because he only had 250 calories this morning at 9:00 am – it’s now 1:35 pm. I can’t seem to get through to him that nutrition is important. Ugh!!!! You can lead a horse to water, as they say. He’s taking a nap and I’m taking a break by doing a project outside.

Finally, Sam’s up from his nap and has started on the feeding unit. Yesterday he was able to take in 2 ½ cans (that’s 1200 calories). The dietitian’s recommendations are 2400 calories/day – which is 4 cans of formula plus anything he can eat by mouth. The goal is for him not to lose any more weight.

So, how does he feel? Like crap - and still battling nausea. This is no fun for either of us. It’s like our lives are on hold and we are in slow-motion. Well, if the first chemo experience is any indication of how Sam will feel, it’s going to be a long week.

Having said all that, what can I praise God for today? First, that my husband is still alive and fighting on and by God’s grace he will get through this. Second, he's the love of my life and in a few more weeks we will celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. We are blessed indeed.