Things that really matter

If you are wondering how Sam is feeling, the report is that not much has changed. Now, on its face that statement might sound negative, but I'll try to give you my spin.

On October 5th I wrote:

Sam is still on serious pain meds because he continues to have tremendous pain especially when trying to swallow or talk. He is not taking any food by mouth; still has a lot of mucus secretion and is tethered to a feeding pump taking in about 1500 calories per day, a process that takes from 11-12 hours to complete. I know he is frustrated at times because he feels like he has been this way forever. Because his progress is so slow it’s hard for him to see any and he’s tired of being a zombie.

Almost ten days later, what has changed? Not a whole lot. But, on the positive side he's not any worse. Sam has increased the amount of formula intake from 70 ml to 90 ml per hour which means that it now only takes about 10 hours to finish 32 ounces of formula for 1500 calories. The next goal is to add an additional can (for 1875 calories) since he still is not taking any food by mouth. Coughing up the mucus secretions have reduced from maybe 50 times/day to about 30 time/day. He is still taking significant pain meds, but apparently that is typical for this treatment.

About a week ago he tried some apple juice and it tasted so awful to him that he only took a sip. Maybe this weekend he will try some cream of wheat cereal or oatmeal. Because he still has tremendous pain swallowing and talking he isn't inclined to try to swallow food --- I can't say I blame him.

Last week Sam had a couple of visitors and while he enjoyed the visits, all the talking was too hard on his throat and now he isn't talking much at all in an attempt to reduce the pain. He's using a white board and dry erase marker to communicate. Once in a while he will try "Sam sign language", but that just drives me crazy. It's like trying to play charades - but totally frustrating in this circumstance.

This past weekend our son Max and our daughter-in-law, Leslie, came in from Chicago for a visit. It was really nice to see them and even though Sam felt bad because he couldn't talk much and had to nap a lot, I know it lifted his spirits to see them.

Like Sam, Max enjoys cooking and on Saturday night Max, Leslie and I cooked and enjoyed eating a meal together. Since Sam has not been eating food by mouth, the one thing that I really miss is sharing a meal with him. So, it was really nice to sit down at the dinner table together.

Sam looks pretty good in this picture. You might notice that the skin burn he had on his neck from the radiation is now cleared. While he is still very thin, he's still alive. Thin doesn't matter when you are fighting for your life. Life is short and when someone you love has cancer, you become keenly aware of the things that are important in life. It brings into focus what you truly value. I value Sam.

I'll leave you with this: Be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another - even as God, for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32.