Does a doctor's demeanor make a difference? After today, I'm thinking maybe it does.
We arrived at Dr. Celin's office promptly at 8:50 a.m. this morning. He is Sam's Ear/Nose/Throat specialist and after the usual chart update, Dr. Celin told us almost the same thing that Drs. Chen and Osborn said yesterday, but somehow it was different.
I think it's his "bed-side" manner. More than once during the conversation he said that there is some agreement among physicians that having a PET/CT sooner than six months can give a false positive. And therefore, it is probably too early to determine the meaning of the "glucose uptake" of the cells. Like cancer cells, cells that are healing will also draw up glucose faster and so he feels it's too soon to know. In addition, because taking a biopsy can be hit or miss and because Sam will have to have general anesthesia due to the location of the tumor, he would like to re-examine Sam in three weeks and schedule a biopsy the following week. That way, he could always cancel the biopsy if it's unnecessary.
So, the result of today's visit is that we still don't know if the cancer is gone. But, we left the doctor's office feeling a little less concerned and I am having trouble explaining that other than I think I have more respect for Dr. Celin - gut feeling again, I guess.
Sam and I have decided to take the focus of our life off of "results" - waiting for results; hoping for a certain result; expecting doctors to produce certain results. Maybe that's just what happens through this kind of process, but the "end result" is that when you live waiting for results, you stop living. While it's kind of hard for Sam to "do" a lot, I think it will be beneficial for both of us to re-direct our thoughts to the things of which we have some control. Like perhaps our attitude.
The best attitude we can choose is to live like today is the last day we may have on earth rather than one more day closer to a result. We'll see how that goes... hopefully we will have that resolve for more than one day :)
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3 comments:
I will keep praying for you and Sam, Nothing in the chest sounds very good. Can't even imagine how you are both feeling if you can feel much at all. Don't even know what to say except I will keep praying.
Nancy
6 months after marrying Jim, Dr. Celine's biopsy of my thyroid revealed possible cancer. I went in for surgury to have it removed. When he went it, I had things gnarled around the thyroid, but that there was no cancer. I was either healed, or wrong biopsy, but my experience with Dr. Celine is that he isn't afraid of the truth and going in and taking care of business. So, I'm with you. If his demeaner was a "relax here...." I would allow the Lord to use that to help me exhale. :)
I read your previous updated, but could not at that time post, but was praying for you.
Still am
Love Gloria
via the National Cancer Institute
PS Maddy and Sam. Lots of hope down here. Just FYI and a heads up.
Thanks for your blog that not only guides me in how to pray for you but also instructs me how to live my life today!
Remembering you frequently in prayer, Alison
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