Patience and Peace

Wednesday I had to stop by the Cancer Center to pick up new prescriptions for Sam and I had an opportunity to talk with Lori, Dr. Chen's nurse. After we exchanged pleasantries we talked about Sam's progress. She shared with me that another patient that has recovered from his type of cancer reported that she finally felt better after seventeen (17) months! Lori said that they typically tell patients that it takes about a year to recover from this treatment. I don't remember hearing that timetable; I think that might have registered in my memory.

Because it took a month for Sam to begin treatment after his first PET/CT scan I have been wondering if the treatment they developed would account for the possibility that the cancer would have spread. So, I asked Lori about the chemo drug they used, Cisplatin, thinking that maybe the reason they gave him Cisplatin was to kill any cells that may have spread to other areas of his body. Unfortunately, Lori said that Cisplatin is given to enhance the effectiveness of the radiation treatments. I think my eyes got larger at that moment as I realized that they weren't focused on whether it might have spread. Lori looked at me with understanding eyes and she said, "I know people don't understand this, but we treat the main problems first." I pushed her further for clarification and asked, "Since this drug moves systemically, wouldn't it destroy cancer cells in other parts of the body?" Her answer, "No, I don't think so. It's used to enhance the radiation treatments."

That was kind of a big gulp moment for me. I remember Dr. Chen remarking at our last office visit that radiation sometimes doesn't get all the cancer in the lymph nodes and if that's the case they can surgically remove them. So, all this means is that we won't know anything for certain until November 11th. Waiting is hard. It requires patience. I have learned in the past that asking for patience is a serious thing to ask for as those lessons tend to be painful. You know what they say - Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.


Like most people there have been plenty of times in my life that I have had to learn patience and to be honest that is one of the areas of my life where I still struggle. It probably has its roots in wanting to be in control. You know, one the the triplets of terror I mentioned in the past (expectation, perspective, control).


When you run into the grocery store for a few items and you are standing in the "express" checkout line waiting for the line that never seems to move, do you find you are impatient, or do you think of it as I do as an opportunity to do nothing and not feel guilty?


Truthfully, the grocery store example is one of the few times I exhibit patience when waiting. I can list about 15 other examples where patience is something I struggle with: calling a company and having to go through multiple layers of options before being able to talk with a human; commuter traffic; having a slow computer; giving computer tech support to a novice over the telephone; and chief among them for me has been waiting for test results on Sam's condition.

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace [or, freedom from anxiety], patience, kindness, goodness [or, generosity], faith,


So, now I think maybe it's better to ask for peace - aw heck, who am I kidding, I need the whole bowl of fruit.

So, if I were to list our prayer needs, the biggest need is for Sam's relief from pain. He would love to be able to swallow and not have pain. He is weary of being ill and would love to be able to see some measurable progress. Patience. Patience. Patience. Waiting is hard but we have HOPE; and knowing that others are praying for us and have shown us kindness - that makes it bearable.