Not much has changed from yesterday. Sam is still experiencing nausea; is very tired; sleeps for a while and then may have a mucus coughing jag which wakes him; pills, syringes, feeding tubes; routines; more mucus - oh, and how can I forget, the vomiting.
One more day of radiation; just one more day.
I assign no blame; but if I could spare one person from this hell my husband and I are going through called "base of tongue cancer" which typically strikes men over 40 who are smoker/drinkers (Sam was not) or who work around environmental risk factors - paint fumes/plastic byproducts/wood dust, (Sam Did) ----- I would tell them - PLEASE - If you smoke, QUIT. If you drink, do so in moderation. If you work around paint fumes, plastic byproducts and body fillers, wood dust, etc. - wear protective gear and/or get out of that line of work as soon as you can. If you find a lump that wasn't there before, see your doctor right away.
There, I said it. I feel better. You probably won't listen to me, but I put it out there in case there is one person who might. If you are that one person - save the people in your life the anguish of watching you suffer.
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Hi Dear Maddy:
I'm sorry our phone call was cut short and I haven't had time to call you back. I'm up to my neck with the some of the same things you are. :)
I'm glad you got that off of your chest about the "don't do it" stuff. I know how tired and frustrated you are. I know how disappointed you may be that you even feel that way. If I wasn't so sick and tired myself, I would come and try to lift your burden.
LOL. Unfortunately, you're doing better than me. What help could I bring if I could bring it? When I read your response about the people in Texas and how that moved you, I was saddened that I wasn't moved in the same way. All I could think was, "if your life is still hell after 15 months, I'll muster up some compassion for ya." I guess I don't win the Mother Theresa awared, huh?
Despite the old age and doom and gloom that it feels like cancer brings to my life, I'm still a little girl that desires to sit on a swing, swing my feet, while eating an icecream cone, gigglin' with a friend.
May care free days visit us soon. And if you and I find ourself swinging and eating that cone (fat free of course) and gigglin', may it also include our husbands healthy and sharing something of their own.
Here's to hope. :)
Love Gloria
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